To some level, the media has been blamed for portraying gay men and straight women in a stereotypical fashion. In popular television shows such as Will and Grace, gay men and women are characterized as friends who shop with one another, watch romantic comedies together, and spend countless hours talking about men. Even though there may be a handful of friendships like this, not all gay male and straight female friends feel they possess these characteristics. The fact that some gay men and straight women don’t identify with these characterizations makes the iconic relationship of Will and Grace appear extremely stereotypical.
Although the Will and Grace relationship may not characterize every gay male-straight female relationship, it does not discredit the possibility that these relationships are built upon a similar dynamic. In general, gay men and straight women are able to share a harmonious relationship based upon their similar interests. However, many argue against this notion and claim that close relationships between gay men and straight women do not exist outside of popular television programs like Will and Grace. In fact, there is even an idea out there that Will and Grace may have begun the gay male-straight female friendship trend:
“The years of Will and Grace have likely influenced gay men and straight women to be best friends.” (Will and Grace Effect)
While this idea provides an alternative explanation that the media influences our perception of this relationship, it lacks the specific evidence to support a cause-and-effect relationship. It is implausible to say, for example, that Will and Grace has influenced the friendships between gay men and straight women that we observe today. In fact, there is more evidence to back up the opposing claim: close gay male-straight female relationships have existed long before these media influences. For instance, the close-knit relationship between gay men and straight women has been documented in literature dating back to the late 1970s1-3. Therefore, it is possible that these relationships originally inspired or gave rise to television programs like Will and Grace. In addition, this relationship is noted across cultures4. This indicates a minimal influence that Will and Grace or any other related television program has had on gay male-straight female friendship formation.
The relationships between gay men and straight women may not fully mimic the patterns and social dynamics observed in popular media. However, it is important to note that this relationship is not a complete result of the media and may be an everyday pattern of social interaction.
1 Malone, J. (1980). Straight women/gay men: A special relationship. New York: Dial Press.
2 Nahas, R. & Turley, M. (1979). The new couple: Women and gay men. Seaview Books: New York.
3. Warren, C. A. (1976). Women among men: Females in the male homosexual community. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 5, 157-169.
4. Torre, B. A., Manalastas, E. J., Sese, D. G. A., & Catanghal, A. (2005). Fag hags in Filipino gay culture: Friendships, identities, and personality. Paper presented at “Sexualities, Genders, and Rights in Asia: The 1st International Conference of Asian Queer Studies” in Bangkok, Thailand.